Last time I spoke to my friend Tom he told me ‘bout a holiday he went on he said he needed to get away so he went to Turkey on a holiday
he didn’t have a passport so he borrowed one and a friend he gave him his with a haw and a hum Tom he said look don’t you worry mate ’cause we all look the same to them at any rate
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My friend Tom don’t mince his words he told me the story as it occured he said he needed to get away so he went to Turkey on a holiday
My friend Tom’s one hell of a dude but he’s a little bit loud and he’s a little bit crude he don’t have a lot of finesse but of all the friend’s I’ve got he is the best
He arrived in the bar in London Heathrow and he wanted a drink before the plane was set to go he bought a bottle of whiskey and six cans of Red Stripe he hid them in his pockets then he boarded his flight
Now on the way over he decided to try to start a little club that he called mile high the flight crew said look you gotta relax ’cause if not the pilot says we’re turning back
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They finally arrived in a hotel complex and Tom made his way into the dicotheque by this time he said he felt very aroused so he ordered a drink and he started to prowl
The lights were low and it was hard to see and when he put his hand upon somebody’s knee suddenly he was knocked to the floor then he found himself been thrown out the door
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Now about my friend Tom well I’ll tell you one thing I suspect deep down that he’s really right wing he says the Turks is a whole lotta fun but he don’t want them in the European Union
If you meet Tom you might ask why he’s got a scar above his right eye and if you’re lucky he’ll talk to you about his adventures in Istanbul
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And now I’ve come to the end of my song about holidays in Turkey and my friend Tom sometimes I think it’s happy and sometimes I think it’s sad but I think about it everytime I see a kebab
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My friend Tom’s one hell of a dude
My friend Tom’s one hell of a dude
My friend Tom’s one hell of a dude
My friend Tom